Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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