I murdered the dance floor call the cops
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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