So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
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there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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