I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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