I want to walk on stilts...naked
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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