I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
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