why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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