I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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