Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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