You're so nebulous sometimes
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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