kristin has been a bad kristin
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
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the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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