did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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