So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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