I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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