Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
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I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize