I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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