I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize