the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize