We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Less talking, more tequila
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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