I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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