Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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