I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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