its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
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my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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