How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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