if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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