i think my tv is drunk
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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