I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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