Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize