in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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