I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize