I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize