I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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