Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize