I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize