True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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