Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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