used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
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My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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