Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
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I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
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My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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