Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize