Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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