I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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