It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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