I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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