im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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