I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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