I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize