so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
bring money and cleavage
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
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I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
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Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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