I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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