so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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