Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize